Thursday, August 1, 2013

Black Goo Thursday

By JccKeith

It's Thursday so technically speaking today is my blog of the week.  I was laying in bed this morning... before you get all excited this is not one of those kind of stories... so allow me to restart.  After taking the kids to school this morning, I returned to my bed to catch up on some sleep.  I did doze off for a short time but then awoke much too soon.  It was while I was lying there trying to fall back asleep that I noticed my hands. 

Under my fingernails was a black substance.  Funny, I hadn't noticed it before.  I figured it was maybe dirt or something I had somehow managed to pick up during the morning activities and just hadn't noticed - despite the fact that I must have washed my hands three or four times in between getting up, taking a shower, making breakfast, making lunches for the kids to take to school, packing backpacks with all the new school supplies, driving to the school, going inside to meet the teachers and get the kids settled in their class's line in the gym and returning home.  Somehow - among the many handwashings I had failed to notice this 'dirt.'  Anyway, regardless of its mysterious appearance, I used another fingernail to try and scrape this dirt from under the first fingernail.

That was when I realized this black substance was not dirt.  It did not just easily scrape out from under the fingernail.  No, not this entity.  It instead stayed under the first fingernail but somehow managed to also smudge across the second fingernail and then a third and then finally atop a fingertip.  That was when I really felt this substance.  It was gooey, like tar and it seemed to be multiplying like, I don't know, some alien entity.

I started to wonder if perhaps I had somehow crossed paths with the alien symbiote from Spiderman - the one that turns into Venom.  This black goo would just not come off of my fingers and eventually spread to my palm.  I had to get up from my bed and go try to wash it off before it took over my whole body.  It did thankfully come off of my hands with a bit of hard scrubbing and copious amounts of soap.  Then I returned to my bedroom and as I was walking, I noticed the shorts I had worn to take the kids to school (I always change back into my comfy pajamas when I get home and intend on going back to sleep).  The shorts had a black goo spot on them too. 

I tried to scrape the black goo off but again, it seemed only to spread and attempt to take over my hand.  I threw the shorts in the dirty clothes reluctantly.  I say reluctantly because I was hesitant to let it get anywhere near my other clothes, dirty or not.  I'm concerned it might try to take over my washer and dryer.


So, I had to scrub my hands again to rid myself of this mysterious black goo.  Now this story does not have a happy ending like I was just dreaming or was able to get it all cleaned up or anything like that.  The black goo, that mysteriously appeared under my fingernail and on my shorts is still a mystery to me.  I have no idea where it came from as I've never encountered it before in my house.  So I don't think it came from my house.  I've never seen it in my minivan so I don't think it originated there either.  I have also never seen a large expanse of black goo taking over the school so I don't think it came from there either and I am certain it would have taken over by now. 

In my ending thoughts - I would like to say that if I fail to post anything on the blog in the future - check my house as it may be that the black goo has completely taken over.

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