Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Horrible, Soul Decaying Boredom

By JccKeith

“…which leads to horrible, soul-decaying boredom.”
-Allie Brosh on Hyperbole and a Half

Today is, for me anyway, What They Said Monday, or at least it was about thirty minutes ago.  So I’m a little behind.  I really had nothing to write today so I wasn’t going to write anything.  Then I came across the words ‘horrible, soul-decaying boredom’ and they were just so noticeable I couldn’t leave them alone.  Some words are like that for me, once I read them or hear them I can’t get them out of my head.  I’ve been known to write entire stories based around one single line.  It’s just how my brain works sometimes.  When it works.

The problem recently is, among others, that my mind has been on the fritz.  I have a few decent ideas here and there but nothing like the free flowing inspired thoughts I have had at other times.  It is more than frustrating.  Wanting to write, having a deep passion for writing, for creating things with words – and not being able to is horrible. 

Going about my day, reading books, watching television shows and movies, having conversations and just doing the daily things I do used to be enough to send my mind to all sorts of unusual places.  The slightest thing could spark amazing ideas.  Now it is all a humdrum existence.  My mind doesn’t take flight off to new horizons.  It doesn’t create interesting characters anymore.  It doesn’t see the silver lining or the hidden sides of everyday things.

Knowing the ability lies within you, knowing you are capable of greater things and not having any way to access those capacities leads to what I consider soul-decaying boredom.  Without the creation of new worlds, new characters and new dramas I feel depleted.  I feel like I am wasting precious time that I could be using to write.

So what do I do when I am stuck in the gray fog of no ideas and nothingness?  Well, for starters, I try not to give up.  I know that, like all things good and bad, this too shall pass.  Nothing stays the same, everything changes so I know that things will happen and things will change as they always do.  Sure there are times when I want things to stay the same, like when I’m doing really well and can’t type fast enough to get all my ideas down but they never do.  So I remind myself of this simple fact.  I remind myself of that and I keep trying to write.  You just never know when something will take off and become better than you expected.

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