By Michala Tyann
Let’s talk about your ego. You are born without the knowledge or consciousness of your self. It is a beautiful, brief time when you just don’t give a damn about anything other than staying alive. Eat, sleep, and shit. Life was good if you could do those things without difficulty. And then you grow a bit. Your eyes are opened to the experiences of what life has to offer. To see, do, taste, and touch becomes your life. It is how you learn stuff and as long as you can do things using your senses life is still good. Those who have a sense taken away from them either dwell under the suffering of that lack of opportunity or they embrace their other senses and take what pleasure they can. Still, live can be good.
Through the growth process one develops likes and dislikes. Appreciation for certain things and a fondness for what they deem valuable. A personality is now linked with outward desires and needs. Ego is created, formed, manufactured, or forced…does it matter how ego comes to be? No.
You just have it. Just as you continue to have that place inside you that still needs to eat, sleep, and shit, you also have that outward center of yourself…your ego.
There are those who say having an ego is a bad thing. As a writer, you MUST have one. They go hand in hand. That ego of yours can keep you from quitting, from going off your rocker, from offing yourself, and from separating yourself from your creativity.Your ego helps you. I promise it does. It allows you to feel your writing is quality stuff and how important it is that other people read it. It allows you to say, “this is some good stuff and I must share it with others or they will live the rest of their lives in darkness, dumb. I must save them from that!”
You ego requires to be stroked. This isn’t altogether a bad thing either. Without your ego you would not have the intense desire to create that idea, to work long into the night writing the idea, to give it a name (an oh how important that name is!) and it propels us forward. It gives us the resolve and the strength to market our idea, to thrust it into the faces of people we don’t even know, and hey…our ego makes us feel…like we are the coolest person alive. We wrote a book! We are writers! We are amazing! Fear, insecurity, hopelessness…naw..psh…whatever!
BUT WAIT!I just got rejected! I didn’t win that contest! That agent turned me down! My book hasn’t sold at all this week! OMG….I’M A FAILURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sounds like your ego is suffering. It’s sick. You know what happens now? You quit stroking your ego (get your mind out of the gutter!) You’ve quit embracing the inner artist. You have lost that comfortable ‘smugness’ that is required to continue to thrive in the world of creativity. You have lost your voice and you have forgotten all the things you have to share with the world.Your opinion seems less important. Your story seems less appealing. You doubt your ability to make it in this world as a writer. You’ve become a wallflower. Your over-inflated ego is so needed. It’s broken, lying in pieces around your house.
You need to get yourself in check! Quit being a casualty of the writing industry. Quit sabotaging your ego. Get your heartache in check and boost your confidence. There are a number of ways to do that but the best and most effective way is to gear yourself. Get your writing desk running. Charge up that laptop. Gather fifty pens so you don’t run out of ink. Marshal your ideas together, amp up your ego, and write.
Write because you have stories inside you. They are crawling and fighting with you to get out. Can’t you hear them? Write because the fire to write refused to be quenched. Write because you are committed to writing. Remember…you will never be seen or heard or read if you aren’t writing. So…you must write.