Saturday, March 16, 2013

I Am Ashes Where Once I Was Fire

I am ashes where once I was fire.
And the bard in my bosom is dead;
What I loved I now merely admire,
And my heart is as gray as my head

-Lord Byron

By JccKeith

Good old crazy Lord Byron, that guy was alright.  I can’t say I like all of his work but I find he was talented and entertaining if not a little disturbing. 

This little diddy above is what I would characterize as classic mid-life crisis.  Byron wrote that when he was 35.  Now that would be all fine and good except he died the following year so it turns out it wasn’t much of a mid-life anything.

Lord Byron
Now today is my day to rant or rave, whatever.  So do indulge me as I say I think Lord Byron was a tad melodramatic.  Perhaps I am merely not the poet or talented individual as Byron was.  I have suffered from deep depression, however, so I do have some valid right to an opinion on the matter.

I just recall the darker days of depression and not once do I recall relaying to anyone, even a diary anything quite so dramatic.  Again, it could be that I lack the talent to string together a series of words in such an eloquent fashion.  It could also be that if I were to walk into my therapist’s office and spill out such phrases as

“The bard in my bosom is dead,” or “What I loved I now merely admire,” she would probably do one of two things. The first would be to check my meds and say something like,

“I don’t remember seeing poetic musings listed as a possible side effect of this stuff.”
She could also ignore the meds and decide that I’ve gone completely bonkers.  Since there is more paperwork involved in committing someone to the looney bin than just being a good sport about it – she would probably proceed to interpret my ridiculously melodramatic statements.

“So, “I am ashes where once I was fire,”…
What you’re saying is you’re burned out?”

“And “the bard in my bosom is dead,” by that you mean you’re having a little writer’s block?  Can’t think of anything good to write?  You’re having trouble coming up with new material?”

“Let’s see, “What I loved I now merely admire,” so you’re saying that you’ve moved on from your latest crush?  You’re no longer ‘in love’ with that one celebrity you were cyber stalking?  Or are you just bored with your latest relationship and now only feel like being friends with the person?”

“And I would say what you mean by, “and my heart is as gray as my head,” is that you’ve lost that loving feeling?  You’re just not feeling that lust for life anymore?  Or you have simply lost the spark you once had?”

But hey, who knows?  Maybe someday in some distant future someone will find one of my numerous diaries.  They might read some of my brilliant words like,

“Depression sucks.”

And they might just think, “Man, that is just a tad melodramatic.”

1 comment:

  1. Oh the romantics are the best!!! :-) I remember reading Lord Byron's "Don Juan" in college.

    Well, Byron is the best. The rest of the Romantics I kind of can't stand. Low point in Percy Shelley: "I fall upon the thorns of life! I bleed!"