Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Tuesday's Tops


By JccKeith

Here it is Tuesday again and I still haven’t comprised a decent top 3,5 or 10 list.  When I recommend books or writers, I know them pretty well.  If it’s a book I am recommending, I have definitely read it and probably multiple times.  If it is an author, I know their works and am familiar with their writing style and typical subject matter. 

Since I touch on the classics on Wednesday, I don’t feel the need to recommend any classic authors or books on Tuesdays.  Unfortunately, that means I have a lot more research to do before I can recommend any contemporary authors other than the ones I’ve already mentioned.

This coming up with a 3,5 or 10 list every Tuesday is harder than it seems.  In fact, I would swear this Tuesday business comes up at least once a week – every seven days even.  If I lived an exciting life I could just use whatever happened to come up each Tuesday.

I do not lead the exciting life.  I suppose, based on my trip to Home Depot today to pick up my new kitchen floor tiles, I could give you an excellent list of the top 5 floor colors.  Being the snarky critical consumer that I am, I could also give a fairly decent list of the top 5 mistakes in Home Depot’s organization and presentation of consumer products, such as flooring materials.

The store would be much easier to navigate if they would just use a little honesty.  Instead of those huge generalized signs that say things like “Flooring” or “Renovation” they need to be more specific.  I need signs that say things like “Really Expensive Flooring” and “Reasonably Priced Flooring” and “Total Crap Flooring” along with “Who are You Kidding – Do It Yourself Flooring” or better yet, a section with a sign that reads “Here Is Everything You Need To Complete This Renovation of Your Kitchen.”

On my way home, thinking about what to have for lunch, I contemplated the options.  As I drove past several fast food places I considered some things.  I could theoretically make a list of the best fast food places.  The problem with getting any fast food for lunch is that I only like certain things from certain places.  Rather than drive from place to place I usually end up getting things all from the same place.  Why can’t they just combine McDonalds, Subway, Wendys, Taco Bell, Rallys, Burger King and that sushi place near Subway?

I did, as usual, keep driving past the fast food area and went home where I had some yogurt and granola topped with blueberries, raspberries and strawberries.  I’d be in real trouble if they combined all the fast food places.  I might stop there frequently. They could combine them all into one long name: Rally to Wendy’s Subway King of the Burger and Ringer of the Taco Bell’s McSushi.  Or they could just call it McHeartAttacks. 

In the interest of promoting healthy eating habits, I decided on a top 5 list of berries.  So here you have it, in order of least to best:

These Are Berries
5. Blackberries – I don’t particularly care for the taste unless drowned in yogurt but they have some great health benefits.

4. Rasperries – Yet again, not a fan of the taste outside of drowned in yogurt but also have some great health benefits

3. Blueberries – Not a big fan of these either but dipped in a low fat yogurt they aren’t so bad

2. Canteloupe – Alright, not a berry but they are round and oh so yummy and great for you

1. Strawberries – Very tasty and very healthy for you

Also, if you eat some real berries in some yogurt with granola while reading a book in some public place – it makes you look like one of those really healthy, active people.  You get the approval look from passersby.  Joggers and walkers look at you like, “Yeah, you’re eatin’ healthy, you’re one of us.”

Now granted, I may be sitting in Waterfront Park where I know people jog and walk while I eat my yogurt and berries and granola while reading a book.  I may feel good about that look of comraderie they give me as they jog or ride their bike past me.  And then once I finish my yogurt I go back home to sit in front of my television and watch my favorite Sci-fi shows and type on the computer.

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