Tuesday, November 20, 2012

This Week's List: My Top 9 Protest Slogans

By JccKeith

Alright I’d like to start off by saying, things are getting progressively worse.  I would also like to state that this is not my personal list of phrases but the results of yet another slightly unsuccessful poll.  Then I would throw in that this week’s list all started with an article about the upcoming movie The Hobbit.

Yeah that’s right, I said The Hobbit.  I logged onto Yahoo and saw an article about PETA planning to protest the openings of the movie because several animals died during the filming.  Technically, the animals died at their farm where they were housed inbetween filming but whatever.  This led to my finding that grand protest phrase, “Meat Is Murder!” 

As many of you know by now, my mind does strange things- it took that phrase and ran with it.  I thought, what a great thing to make a list of, protest sayings.  Yeah, that’s the ticket.  People love protest slogans, I mean who doesn’t like to shout.  Protests are awesome stuff.  Anyway, that’s how this all got started. 

So I thought, who cares what my favorite slogans are, I’ll use that fancy smancy thing called facebook and take a poll.  Anyone who read my Top Eleven Costumes for Halloween knows, my last poll yielded disappointing results with only about ten people actually giving answers.  But hey, here’s to trying again!

For this poll, I not only polled the same 335 people from last time but added a whole other 469.  That made my grand total of people polled to be 804.  So without further ado, here are the answers they gave me and the percentage of the total vote, in the order the answers were received:

1.       “I’m Mildly Upset”  - .0012%
2.       “God hates those who claim to know what God hates”  - .0012%
3.       “Mince Meat, Not Words”  - .0012%
4.       “Men are cattle, Women are Chattel”  - .0012%
5.       “Listen, Asshole” - .0012%
6.       “Fuck the Pope but wear a condom”  - .0012%
7.       “We are only trying to get us some peace”  - .0012%
8.       Silence – no really just silence, no answer, no acknowledgment a question had been asked
9.       I choose not to answer because it is Tuesday or because Thanksgiving is in two days or because I have blocked your posts from my newsfeed and never saw the question or I never saw the question because I never check facebook or I ignored the question because I want people to think I never check facebook or I do not participate in polls of any sort or I have no idea what you’re talking about or I do not exist in my own mind or I have been temporarily sucked into an alternate dimension or I am with the Dr.    – 99%

There you have it.  As you may have noticed, with your astute math skills, that the percentages once again do not add up to 100% it is because I suck at math.  I particularly suck at calculating percentages involved in poll taking.  It is also because only 5 people and one cat responded out of the 804 polled.  It is further out of whack because some of the people gave more than one answer and because it is Tuesday.  Also, my cat was sleeping when I asked.

As I stated above, things are getting worse when it comes to my polls.  Perhaps my polling procedures are lax or ineffectual.  Perhaps it is because I only gave all 804 an hour with which to notice the question of the hundreds of things in their newsfeeds and to respond.  It could also be that I include animals in my polls and they tend to not respond or offer some incoherent meow or wuff instead of a legitimate answer.

I am noticing an awful lot of excuses in this post so I will excuse myself entirely and be done with it.  Good night good people of the world.  I doubt this post enriched your vast storehouse of knowledge within that brain of yours but maybe it gave you a chuckle.

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