Thursday, October 11, 2012

Shades of Grey>>>Less than 50!

This is NOT a book review!
By: Michala T.
Okay, so 50 Shades of Grey has been out long enough for anybody who wants to read it has had the chance to. I know plenty of people are voicing their opinions and I might even be saying the same things as some of them. But I can not NOT speak on this any longer. Here is my top reasons why I hated the book 50 Shades of Grey (along with two reasons why I liked it.)
1.      The book repeats itself over and over and over and over and over. I mean, how many times does one character have to get a royal screwing just because she bit her lip? The sexual scenes were just mundane and boring after the first three times. I found myself skipping over the scenes. Um…Hello? If you are reading an erotica (or in this case mommy-porn as people are calling it these days) you aren’t reading it to SKIP the sex scenes!

2.      I get that she was a virgin but even in today’s era there is no way you can be a virgin in college and not know about one or two sex toys or sex games. I mean especially with a best friend like hers…she has to know more than she lets on. But this girl was totally clueless!
3.      What girl doesn’t have a laptop or cellphone? I don’t get that notion. Everybody can afford an el cheapo cell phone, even in college. It’s just too much to take in. So she is a virgin in not only the physical sense but now the technological sense too! Give me a friggin’ break!
4.      Did I say that she bites her lip too much? I thought that deserved two spots in my list!
5.      Why does she not eat? Why does she have to be told to eat? Why does he have to FEED her? Ugh…it was tiresome hearing him tell her to eat again and again and again.
6.      Christian is an abusive freak with mental problems. I get that there are girls that want to save the bad boy from his issues but I just don’t get why people really love this guy. He hurt her, he dominated her, and he was just totally selfish. I mean, hello! He expected her to let him know where she was at every waking moment, he controlled her employment and even bought over the company. He forced her to do things that made her cry. He played on her emotional senses as well as her physical senses. This guy is worse than EDWARD CULLIN…and I didn’t think that was possible. Here is an emotionally unavailable man who preys upon an insecure virgin with tall tales of love and longevity with BDSM. This is a very unhealthy relationship and people are reading this and wishing their lives were like this. Women and men alike are preferring a life where their partner totally disregards their partners wishes, personal comfort zones, and emotional well being. People are getting off on this!
7.      I could probably list 50 shades of mental illnesses this loser has. Give it another three books and you’ll likely see schizophrenia somewhere in there as well!
8.      I hate that people have coined this book ‘mommy porn’. Porn is porn. It doesn’t matter if it soft, hard, long, thin, fat, short, hairy, or what. Don’t pretty it up with endearing words or cover it with a blanket of protections that just because it’s for mom’s it okay that people take advantage of another.
Things I did like about the book.
1.      I actually thought the opening was the best part. Some people are like, ‘really? Give me a break! She falls into his office?” But it was creative in how she was a stand in for her best friend’s journalistic endeavors. And I don’t think it was love at first sight in the general terms. I mean, the chick went home and so yeah, she had weird feelings in her stomach and she wasn’t sure what to think about the guy. Love at first sight, not to me.
2.      I liked the backstory of his ‘don’t touch me’ issues. I even could accept the relationship he had with the older woman. I can even accept that they continued to have a working relationship of sorts. (Maybe as a soon to be therapist this just seems more realistic because I’ve read a hell of a lot weirder relationship issues). It made him seem real to me. He wasn’t perfect; he had demons, and even nightmares. This caused him to be a more rounded character in the book for me.

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